Reflections and Thanks
As you read this, know that I have pulled my boots off for the last time. I have put my dog tags with recognition coins I have received, and thrown my uniform into the laundry basket for it's final wash. I think about my recently passed birthday, my 24th, and cannot help but feel as if it was only a short time ago that I left for Basic Training. In truth, it has been 5 years 8 months since I swore my oath and took the ride I won't forget.
This blog is not about me and what I have accomplished. Today I am writing about the lessons I have learned, and the incredible people who helped me learn them on this journey. While it has always felt incredible to know how much my service is appreciated, the point of this is to appreciate and thank those that made my service possible.
Pre Army
As with most journey's, mine truly began with my parents, Chris and Michelle. Growing up I knew that we didn't exactly live a privileged life. The car's they drove were never brand new, the houses we lived in were never spectacular, the vacations we took were almost always to go stay with family somewhere, and someone was always at work. The last part is what truly stuck with me and has defined my life since my 18th birthday. Six years ago my relationship with my parents was far from perfect. As a legal adult I finally felt like their control over my life needed to be over, and as such most of the support they gave me ended up being over as well.
The day after I graduated I moved into a place with one of the girls I worked with. She was old enough to buy alcohol for me and didn't care what I did with my space as long as she got my part of the rent on time. Obviously, this was a recipe for disaster. It took about 6 weeks for me to realize that if I didn't change something that I would either end up in jail or back with my parents. The way my relationship was with them at that time made both prospects non-options for me.
After I joined the problems between my parents and I vanished, and through this entire journey they have been my biggest fans and strongest supporters. I realized that the biggest lessons I had learned from them was that you have to do whatever it takes. Fixing my life took joining, keeping it fixed took making the most out of my time in. I have since rewarded them with grand children that they dote on as much as they can.
My aunt Cheryl, and (at that time) uncle Brad were the next ones to influence my journey. At 16, and what was supposed to be my Junior year of school, they flew me out to Washington D.C to show me what life was like outside of small town Wisconsin. From staying in the Nth floor of a beautiful high rise, to the incredible restaurants we ate at, they showed me just how green the grass could be as long as I took the journey to the other side. Then they made sure I understood how they got their. We visited the Devry University there (it was the highrise right next door) as well as the University of Virgina. UVA was beautiful, but Devry was specialized in the very thing I wanted to study, designing video games.
Then we went to the recruiting station. I learned about some of the benefits (none of which I really remembered), and what some of my options were (basically anything based on my test scores). All I had to do was finish school and sign some papers. Obviously this was the route I would end up taking. If my parents were my biggest fans, Cheryl and Brad remained a close second even after their divorce. They came to see my Basic Training graduation, brought me back to DC once after I had finished the first part of my job training, Brad managed to come visit me on my deployment, Cheryl hosted me for a couple of days before I started the Advanced Leaders Course, and Brad took me sky diving.
This would be where my brother Seth comes in. As much as my parents and the rest of the family had set the stage, Seth paved the way and joined the year before I did. Our paths have only crossed a few times since then, but the bond of brotherhood was only strengthened by our mutual service. I recently had the privilege of being a groomsman in Seth's wedding. Seth was my savior through my teen years, he quickly became the older brother that I had always wanted.
Then their is Sarah. Sarah was the girl I moved in with. She was also the manager of the shift we worked together. She was a good friend and actually did quite a bit to keep me at least partially in line during that wild time. When I told her that I wanted to join, she drove me right down to the recruiting station and helped me wade through the bull shit they were telling me. Jagermaster's for Life.
Basic and Advanced Individual Training
On the ride to Basic I met my first battle buddy. Josh was going to be in the same job as me, lived only a few blocks from where my parents did, and we would be in the same place from that day until the day we finished training, 15 months in total. Josh and I became pretty fast friends, and spent almost half of that time as room-mates in one way or another. When we got to the Ft Bliss part of our training he moved his wife Mandi down. He usually stayed at the apartment with her, but was still assigned to my room when he couldn't leave base. Josh and Mandi also didn't mind buying alcohol for me, but were significantly better at keeping me in line. Josh taught me how to role play (yes, like Dungeons and Dragons) and the three of us had some fantastic times doing that. Obviously we reminisced about Culvers and good beer and cheese and brats. They really helped me through what was by far the longest I had ever been away from my family.
I couldn't talk about my time in training without mentioning Kenny. When I wasn't rooming with Josh I was with Kenny. He was one of the few soldiers I knew at the time who was younger than me. Only by a few months, but we were the babies of the group of us. Kenny really helped me get into combatives, I would never have gotten as good as I am without his training. Not only did he teach me the moves, but he taught me why to use them and how they work. He was also my first friend who was really into 3oh!3, which was awesome.
Before Deployment
This is when Cheffy came into my life. Staff Sergeant Cheffy decided within the first few weeks of me getting to the unit that I was going to be his replacement. Nevermind that he had 3 ranks on me at the time. He wanted me to be ready to do his job when he left. He was really like a second father to me. He took a young soldier with a bad attitude and turned me into a Sergeant who was ready to take on the world. He held me to a higher standard than he held anyone else to. Working for Cheffy, I never felt like good enough really was. "We're better than them, YOU are better than them." I don't know how many times he told me that or something to that effect. I had always been confident, Cheffy pushed it over the edge. I owe the entirity of my success in the first 3 years I was in to Cheffy, and sure as shit, when he left I was ready to step into his shoes.
Deployment
I'll start this one off with a quick shout out to my battle's from deployment. Lamm, Sully, Coney, Velasquez, Hidey, you guys made the suck, not quite so bad.
In truth however, the reason I made it through that deployment was my roommate Mike. I could double the length of this blog with stories of shenanigans with Mike. I could probably take up half of this blog with all the reasons why he got me through that deployment. I'll keep it short though because he gets embarrassed easily. That year was by far the hardest times of my life. Leaving my new wife and children behind, becoming a Sergeant, the death of one of the officers in our unit, the stress of getting out of there, Mike was there through all of it. We drank, we gamed, we smoked, we did whatever we could to make the time a little more bearable. As much as I love and appreciate everyone who has helped me on this journey, no one will ever be able to replace the bond that we formed over that year.
Post Deployment
When we came back there was a passing of the torch in our shop. All of the top leaders (including Cheffy) left in the space of a few months. We had a new Officer in Charge, the NCO's that were there when I first got to the shop all left. This left a brand new Staff Sergeant in charge, Hitchins. Hitchins found himself in charge of the shop, and a young, over-confident Sergeant, Me. As much as Cheffy molded me into a soldier that was worth while, and laid the foundation for me to become a Sergeant. Hitch made me a Sergeant that was worth while. If I was bad at something, he made me decent. If I was decent or better at something, he made me the best. If neither of us knew how something was supposed to be done, we found the answer and made sure everyone knew. Even though Hitch left the Army before me, he has continued to help me out and was a big help in me finding my new job.
Of course, it wasn't just me that Hitch did this to. We also had another young Sergeant, Jay. If Waugh was my partner in crime for the deployment, Jay was my PIC after. Hitch had a tendency to be a little psychotic sometimes, Jay and I were the only thing that stood between him and the soldiers, or more often than not, between the soldiers and him. There was never an instance where Jay or I were really incharge of the other, we very quickly became two sides of the same coin. As far as the Army was concerned, you didn't need either of us specifically, you just needed one of us. You were better off getting both though, because there was no task that Jay and I couldn't do better than anyone else. We fed off each other, competing as individuals, but coming together as a team. Anything he did, I wanted to do better and I usually did. Anything we did together, we wanted to do better than everyone and we always did.
Everyone Else
I couldn't leave off the rest of my siblings. Steph, Andy, Mary, and Joey, even though you guys didn't play a major part in my time in the Army, you guys were my first friends. You were always excited when I made it back home, and even came to visit some times. You were my best friends growing up, and were the ones I thought about when I had time to reflect on why I had done it.
This summer I had a signed copy of Innecto by Leland Dyer delivered to me. The inscription was, "Gus, I owe pretty much all of this book to you. All of your experiences made up the soul of this book and made it meaningful. I hope that you cherish our friendship as much as I do. - Lee"
I didn't really know how to respond to that until I sat down to write this, but here goes.
Lee, as my experience gave your book meaning and soul, our friendship gave me meaning and soul. I was angry and lost when we met. You gave me what I needed to calm down and find myself. The experiences from the book were a gift I would have never found without you. The peace that our friendship brought me is a prize that I will forever treasure as priceless, just as I treasure our friendship.
Obviously I saved the best for last. In October of 2009 began a relationship that has changed not only my life, but the lives of my parents, siblings, and a very unique little boy. When I met Mandy, I knew that I had found a good friend. She wanted to drink, fight, and listen to music way to loud. Four and a half years later I have an amazing step son that you would swear was mine if you didn't know, a complete goofus son that seems to have only taken the most extreme of character traits from Mandy and I, and an adorable daughter that very quickly figured out how to wrap daddy around her finger. Plus the dogs. Maverick and Sophie.
Mandy is a mother, a teacher, a maid, a chef, a carpenter, a dog groomer, and a grocery service. She is my wife, my best friend, my partner in crime, and one of the few people that understands how funny something has to be for me to snort at it. She knows what kinds of beer I like, what kinds of wine I like, she knows when I need some time alone with my video games, and she knows when we should eat on the couch and watch a movie. She remembers where I put the things I don't even remember having, and she knows how to deal with my short attention span.
I hit the jackpot on this one and I couldn't imagine my life without her. Some people say that 20 was too young to get married and start a family. I say that if I had waited, I wouldn't have gotten the best one.
Finally
Obviously there were countless other people that influenced my career, but these were the ones that made the biggest impact. To close the door on this chapter of my life, I leave you with the song lyric I screamed at the top of my lungs as I drove out the gate for the last time.
"Adios, Ce'st La Vie, Good Riddance, FUCK YOU!" - "Under and Over It" Five Finger Death Punch
This blog is not about me and what I have accomplished. Today I am writing about the lessons I have learned, and the incredible people who helped me learn them on this journey. While it has always felt incredible to know how much my service is appreciated, the point of this is to appreciate and thank those that made my service possible.
Pre Army
As with most journey's, mine truly began with my parents, Chris and Michelle. Growing up I knew that we didn't exactly live a privileged life. The car's they drove were never brand new, the houses we lived in were never spectacular, the vacations we took were almost always to go stay with family somewhere, and someone was always at work. The last part is what truly stuck with me and has defined my life since my 18th birthday. Six years ago my relationship with my parents was far from perfect. As a legal adult I finally felt like their control over my life needed to be over, and as such most of the support they gave me ended up being over as well.
The day after I graduated I moved into a place with one of the girls I worked with. She was old enough to buy alcohol for me and didn't care what I did with my space as long as she got my part of the rent on time. Obviously, this was a recipe for disaster. It took about 6 weeks for me to realize that if I didn't change something that I would either end up in jail or back with my parents. The way my relationship was with them at that time made both prospects non-options for me.
After I joined the problems between my parents and I vanished, and through this entire journey they have been my biggest fans and strongest supporters. I realized that the biggest lessons I had learned from them was that you have to do whatever it takes. Fixing my life took joining, keeping it fixed took making the most out of my time in. I have since rewarded them with grand children that they dote on as much as they can.
My aunt Cheryl, and (at that time) uncle Brad were the next ones to influence my journey. At 16, and what was supposed to be my Junior year of school, they flew me out to Washington D.C to show me what life was like outside of small town Wisconsin. From staying in the Nth floor of a beautiful high rise, to the incredible restaurants we ate at, they showed me just how green the grass could be as long as I took the journey to the other side. Then they made sure I understood how they got their. We visited the Devry University there (it was the highrise right next door) as well as the University of Virgina. UVA was beautiful, but Devry was specialized in the very thing I wanted to study, designing video games.
Then we went to the recruiting station. I learned about some of the benefits (none of which I really remembered), and what some of my options were (basically anything based on my test scores). All I had to do was finish school and sign some papers. Obviously this was the route I would end up taking. If my parents were my biggest fans, Cheryl and Brad remained a close second even after their divorce. They came to see my Basic Training graduation, brought me back to DC once after I had finished the first part of my job training, Brad managed to come visit me on my deployment, Cheryl hosted me for a couple of days before I started the Advanced Leaders Course, and Brad took me sky diving.
This would be where my brother Seth comes in. As much as my parents and the rest of the family had set the stage, Seth paved the way and joined the year before I did. Our paths have only crossed a few times since then, but the bond of brotherhood was only strengthened by our mutual service. I recently had the privilege of being a groomsman in Seth's wedding. Seth was my savior through my teen years, he quickly became the older brother that I had always wanted.
Then their is Sarah. Sarah was the girl I moved in with. She was also the manager of the shift we worked together. She was a good friend and actually did quite a bit to keep me at least partially in line during that wild time. When I told her that I wanted to join, she drove me right down to the recruiting station and helped me wade through the bull shit they were telling me. Jagermaster's for Life.
Basic and Advanced Individual Training
On the ride to Basic I met my first battle buddy. Josh was going to be in the same job as me, lived only a few blocks from where my parents did, and we would be in the same place from that day until the day we finished training, 15 months in total. Josh and I became pretty fast friends, and spent almost half of that time as room-mates in one way or another. When we got to the Ft Bliss part of our training he moved his wife Mandi down. He usually stayed at the apartment with her, but was still assigned to my room when he couldn't leave base. Josh and Mandi also didn't mind buying alcohol for me, but were significantly better at keeping me in line. Josh taught me how to role play (yes, like Dungeons and Dragons) and the three of us had some fantastic times doing that. Obviously we reminisced about Culvers and good beer and cheese and brats. They really helped me through what was by far the longest I had ever been away from my family.
I couldn't talk about my time in training without mentioning Kenny. When I wasn't rooming with Josh I was with Kenny. He was one of the few soldiers I knew at the time who was younger than me. Only by a few months, but we were the babies of the group of us. Kenny really helped me get into combatives, I would never have gotten as good as I am without his training. Not only did he teach me the moves, but he taught me why to use them and how they work. He was also my first friend who was really into 3oh!3, which was awesome.
Before Deployment
This is when Cheffy came into my life. Staff Sergeant Cheffy decided within the first few weeks of me getting to the unit that I was going to be his replacement. Nevermind that he had 3 ranks on me at the time. He wanted me to be ready to do his job when he left. He was really like a second father to me. He took a young soldier with a bad attitude and turned me into a Sergeant who was ready to take on the world. He held me to a higher standard than he held anyone else to. Working for Cheffy, I never felt like good enough really was. "We're better than them, YOU are better than them." I don't know how many times he told me that or something to that effect. I had always been confident, Cheffy pushed it over the edge. I owe the entirity of my success in the first 3 years I was in to Cheffy, and sure as shit, when he left I was ready to step into his shoes.
Deployment
I'll start this one off with a quick shout out to my battle's from deployment. Lamm, Sully, Coney, Velasquez, Hidey, you guys made the suck, not quite so bad.
In truth however, the reason I made it through that deployment was my roommate Mike. I could double the length of this blog with stories of shenanigans with Mike. I could probably take up half of this blog with all the reasons why he got me through that deployment. I'll keep it short though because he gets embarrassed easily. That year was by far the hardest times of my life. Leaving my new wife and children behind, becoming a Sergeant, the death of one of the officers in our unit, the stress of getting out of there, Mike was there through all of it. We drank, we gamed, we smoked, we did whatever we could to make the time a little more bearable. As much as I love and appreciate everyone who has helped me on this journey, no one will ever be able to replace the bond that we formed over that year.
Post Deployment
When we came back there was a passing of the torch in our shop. All of the top leaders (including Cheffy) left in the space of a few months. We had a new Officer in Charge, the NCO's that were there when I first got to the shop all left. This left a brand new Staff Sergeant in charge, Hitchins. Hitchins found himself in charge of the shop, and a young, over-confident Sergeant, Me. As much as Cheffy molded me into a soldier that was worth while, and laid the foundation for me to become a Sergeant. Hitch made me a Sergeant that was worth while. If I was bad at something, he made me decent. If I was decent or better at something, he made me the best. If neither of us knew how something was supposed to be done, we found the answer and made sure everyone knew. Even though Hitch left the Army before me, he has continued to help me out and was a big help in me finding my new job.
Of course, it wasn't just me that Hitch did this to. We also had another young Sergeant, Jay. If Waugh was my partner in crime for the deployment, Jay was my PIC after. Hitch had a tendency to be a little psychotic sometimes, Jay and I were the only thing that stood between him and the soldiers, or more often than not, between the soldiers and him. There was never an instance where Jay or I were really incharge of the other, we very quickly became two sides of the same coin. As far as the Army was concerned, you didn't need either of us specifically, you just needed one of us. You were better off getting both though, because there was no task that Jay and I couldn't do better than anyone else. We fed off each other, competing as individuals, but coming together as a team. Anything he did, I wanted to do better and I usually did. Anything we did together, we wanted to do better than everyone and we always did.
Everyone Else
I couldn't leave off the rest of my siblings. Steph, Andy, Mary, and Joey, even though you guys didn't play a major part in my time in the Army, you guys were my first friends. You were always excited when I made it back home, and even came to visit some times. You were my best friends growing up, and were the ones I thought about when I had time to reflect on why I had done it.
This summer I had a signed copy of Innecto by Leland Dyer delivered to me. The inscription was, "Gus, I owe pretty much all of this book to you. All of your experiences made up the soul of this book and made it meaningful. I hope that you cherish our friendship as much as I do. - Lee"
I didn't really know how to respond to that until I sat down to write this, but here goes.
Lee, as my experience gave your book meaning and soul, our friendship gave me meaning and soul. I was angry and lost when we met. You gave me what I needed to calm down and find myself. The experiences from the book were a gift I would have never found without you. The peace that our friendship brought me is a prize that I will forever treasure as priceless, just as I treasure our friendship.
Obviously I saved the best for last. In October of 2009 began a relationship that has changed not only my life, but the lives of my parents, siblings, and a very unique little boy. When I met Mandy, I knew that I had found a good friend. She wanted to drink, fight, and listen to music way to loud. Four and a half years later I have an amazing step son that you would swear was mine if you didn't know, a complete goofus son that seems to have only taken the most extreme of character traits from Mandy and I, and an adorable daughter that very quickly figured out how to wrap daddy around her finger. Plus the dogs. Maverick and Sophie.
Mandy is a mother, a teacher, a maid, a chef, a carpenter, a dog groomer, and a grocery service. She is my wife, my best friend, my partner in crime, and one of the few people that understands how funny something has to be for me to snort at it. She knows what kinds of beer I like, what kinds of wine I like, she knows when I need some time alone with my video games, and she knows when we should eat on the couch and watch a movie. She remembers where I put the things I don't even remember having, and she knows how to deal with my short attention span.
I hit the jackpot on this one and I couldn't imagine my life without her. Some people say that 20 was too young to get married and start a family. I say that if I had waited, I wouldn't have gotten the best one.
Finally
Obviously there were countless other people that influenced my career, but these were the ones that made the biggest impact. To close the door on this chapter of my life, I leave you with the song lyric I screamed at the top of my lungs as I drove out the gate for the last time.
"Adios, Ce'st La Vie, Good Riddance, FUCK YOU!" - "Under and Over It" Five Finger Death Punch
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